By the Editors of Wealth Management Exchange

The Thanksgiving holiday is an ideal time to pull back from the daily concerns that preoccupy us and focus on issues that truly matter -- family and values.

It's also a great time to reconnect with our children and communicate with them about life's priorities. Often we expect our children to know about their responsibilities like helping others less fortunate, giving to charity, learning to spend money wisely and being a productive member of society by themselves or through their own networks.

But the truth of the matter is it is the parents' responsibility to help communicate these values and priorities. Thanksgiving is more than Turkey dinners and football. It's about appreciation for the lives we lead, the blessings of liberty and democracy that we enjoy, and our responsibility to reach out to those less fortunate. Minus the distractions of everyday life, the holidays represent an ideal time for conveying these values to those around us.

Silver Spoons Get Put Aside

The good news is that the vast majority of our children do move in the right direction. Few are spoiled, irresponsible and extravagant.

This is backed up by many studies. One study in particular, conducted by the PNC Financial Services Group, polled 210 wealthy teenagers and 272 affluent parents of children under the age of 18.

"The results demonstrate that, even if these teens were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, they don't expect life to be handed to them on a silver platter," says Bruce Bickel, PhD, and senior vice president at PNC Wealth Management. "We see a generation of wealthy young people who are generally well-grounded, willing to work hard, and see eye-to-eye with their parents on important values like education and earning a living."

Communicating With Children: Parents Can Do Better

Certainly families of wealth need to communicate with their children that life is more than material happiness. But that does not seem to be happening as often as it should. According to the study, only about 28% of parents said they had discussed the meaning of the family's wealth with their children and one in 10 said their family avoids the topic of family wealth completely.

Sometimes large family gatherings during holidays do not lend themselves well to private conversations or serious discussions. But usually there are opportunities for side discussions about children's goals and steps they are taking to achieve them.

The PNC survey showed some mixed results. Almost 90% of teenagers of wealthy parents said their priorities were to "have a high-paying job and 56% added they would like to have a "rich lifestyle."

Still, almost 80% indicated they would like to have a "job helping others." What's more, many have fairly realistic expectations with almost half saying they expect to have a tougher time making it financially than their parents.

Some Subjects May Be Sensitive

While Thanksgiving is a great time to focus on values and sorting out some of the more complex meanings of life, other subjects may be best left for other times. One that might be particularly sensitive is planning for financial independence. Obviously a large part of the task of raising responsible children involves having a meeting of the minds on children eventually becoming financially independent. The survey showed that about 20% of parents assume they will be supporting children into adulthood. Yet, among teens, only 10% indicated they would like to live off family money as long as possible.

While you cannot accomplish everything on the holidays, they do represent a good time to start a series of conversations about money management. A key is finding out how much your children know and don't know about money. It's hardly fair to expect your children to handle money responsibly when they lack basic education on money issues.

For example, a study by StrategyOne for Charles Schwab found that just 41% of teens consider themselves knowledgeable on budgeting, 34% know how to pay bills and only 26% understand how credit card interest and fees work.

As one financial planner recently put it, "children should have four choices with money: saving, spending, investing and sharing. And parents should have conversations with kids about the four choices. It helps families convey value systems." The holidays are a wonderful opportunity to reinforce those value systems.

 We at Wealth Management Exchange wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving.